James came out of the bathroom, brushing his teeth, getting ready for the funeral of his grandpa. He put on a nice clean silky black suit with a black tie, some black long pants and dress shoes. Filled with rage, James was rushing down the stairs. They were late. James bounced into the car with his Mum and drove off, But he had forgotten something, his good luck charm - his blue stone. They drove for an awfully long time, when suddenly the car stopped like a shockwave had hit it. Feeling frightened and afraid, without James’s stone they would perish.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
100 words the car suddenly stopped
James came out of the bathroom, brushing his teeth, getting ready for the funeral of his grandpa. He put on a nice clean silky black suit with a black tie, some black long pants and dress shoes. Filled with rage, James was rushing down the stairs. They were late. James bounced into the car with his Mum and drove off, But he had forgotten something, his good luck charm - his blue stone. They drove for an awfully long time, when suddenly the car stopped like a shockwave had hit it. Feeling frightened and afraid, without James’s stone they would perish.
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Again Neo, I love the description of everything, from the way you showed he was getting ready, to go somewhere, with his actions. I also thought it was really cool how you described the character's clothes and shoes. Because of where he was going to. Its neat to read your stories, as you are really making it sound interesting!
ReplyDeleteFrom Mum :)